On Hot Rods: Making Malaise into Magnificence

With some cars, it’s not hard to see the performance hidden beneath a layer of boring, anodyne stockness. Cars like 1.8 Turbo Audi A4’s. They’re not quick from the factory but a few choice extra bits can get you a whole lot of shove. Most people who know cars know this, which seems to me to make the feat a whole lot less impressive.

Many people pick up sport compacts and modify them because they think it makes them more clever than the domestic drivers. “I’m getting 300 wheel horsepower out of my four cylinder!” is a good rallying cry when proclaiming your superiority of dumbestics. (Actually, that’s up for debate.) But really, is there anyone who knows cars who is surprised you can make a really fast SRT-4? If that’s a secret, then so is that whole Clinton-Lewinski affair debacle. I mean, hooray. You can put a chip, a diverter valve and a downpipe on your GTI and then you have a lot of extra power. But you’re not original.

No, what appeals to me are cars that no one would ever expect to be fast. Cars that even surprise true died-in-the-wool car guys. Here are a few ideas.

1) Toyota Matrix

Matrix XRS.  Photo by Edmunds.com
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Hot Rods I’ve Had Floating Around My Head

I’ve come to realize one thing that bonds “car guys” together, even if they don’t know it. No matter who you are, what you’re into, where you’re from or how old you are, you have that “dream project” floating around your head. You might ponder on while sitting in a soul-crushing sales data meeting. You might imagine it as you fall asleep to bring ease to your mind. Hell, you might even be picking the right A/R ratio for that huge turbo while your girlfriend goes on about shoes. Whatever it is, you know you have one.

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