Teh Car Blogz

Patrick: A bold statement to be sure, however I feel it is true. I make decent money in my position now and have a habit to browse for my next car (yes, I change cars like people change socks). I sat down with my most recent TopGear magazine and a few other car magazines and flipped through them. Decent cars are littered between the covers, but all of them have flaws. For example: Audi A4, looks like a big-mouth bass mated with a BMW 3 series. While I like the lights and engine, the exterior is atrocious. Plus, it makes you look like an actuary driving about. So it’s out. BMW 3 is alright. The flame styling looks nice, but aside from a 335i coupe, the rest are boring. Even the new M3 has too many bulges, baubles, and buttons for my taste.

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I was reading a recent article on police crackdowns on modified cars. The crux of the police’s argument is “Why do you want to go faster, the only people who go fast are street racers, obviously.” I just do not understand that mentality. Heck, the police cars are modified to go faster and run harder. While the differences between a P71 Police Cruiser and a turbocharged Civic are vast and numerous, one must ask why not? Despite the obvious safety implications of letting Tommy the street racer soup up his 3000GT, what harm is in modifying cars. Go faster, turn harder, stop shorter, or make a style statement. These ideas echo back to the roots of the automotive industry. A few guys tinkering with a motor and wheels. In the 50’s it was hot rods, the 60’s muscle cars, in the 80’s imports emerged in earnest, 90’s saw the soar in street racing mentality, and the new decade has brought about a more subtle scene (mostly to combat unwanted Piggie attention).

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Yes, the return of the car with a really long name. The perennial rally boy special is now decidedly upmarket. Now equipped with so many letters, your head will spin. WRX, STI, SI-Drive, DCCD, VDC, AWD, EBD, DAVCS, TPMS, DRL, ABS, HID, LED, BBS, and a partridge in a pear tree to boot. In reality these systems work very well together for a seamless driving experience…

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Patrick:
Toyota Prius. I admit the BMW X6 is close second, however the Prius just sucks so badly its black hole encompasses the BMW. It is the epitome of lackluster design and soulless driving that I hate in cars. It is driven by the Hollywood set for appearances and to seem ecologically friendly. In reality they drive the worst car in recent memory. You can buy a Mini Cooper and get similar mileage or get a TDI Volkswagen and not even use any gasoline, both of which keep you from looking like a tool. The Prius is a posers car if every there was such a thing. Also problematic is the style, or more accurately lack of style. Toyota’s hybrid looks like a Corolla and a Pontiac Aztec mated. A swollen, disorganized conglomerate of styling cues. It looks as if Congress convened a panel to design and implement the thing. A bit of hatch here, gas engine there. A dash of technology in the display sytem and electric motors as a bit of an afterthought. The electric motor and gas motor even work like Congress. (It’s your turn to work some gas motor, not yet electric) Overall, the car is disgusting in its ecological arrogance and design. Just get a diesel or motorcycle for the sake of all things automotively decent.

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We here at TCB use some pretty big words (dual overhead camshaft engine with centrifugal supercharger, direct injection, and coil on pack ignition, lol). I thought it would be appropriate that we break it down a little for some of the newer readers and those beginning their journey as car hoons and nerds.

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I despise F1, hate NASCAR, and loathe Indy Car. Why you might ask? Well settle beside the fireside and let me tell you.

Money.

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While I would love to write a very Jeremy Clarkson-esque piece on power and why old cars are boring, I won’t. Not because I disagree, but simply because I realize power is meaningless when stuck sitting in a soul sapping surround of gridlocked traffic. In this light, my dream car garage tries to balance street-ability, fun, and hoonage. I admit it is difficult, but I’ll give it a whirl. While we would all love smoke whirling and billowing from the rear tires of our very own dream car it is not practical, so here is my mix of brilliant engineering and old school muscle.

1.) B5 S4 Avant

2.7T Dolphin grey 6 speed with black leather interior. Engine modified with K04/20’s, 650cc injectors, water injection, OFE Southbend clutch, new boost tubing, radiator, and stealthy exhaust. Tinted tails and RS-4 front bumper riding on BBS gunmetal RC wheels and F&K suspension with Porsche 4 piston calipers front and rear. Equipped with front mount intercooler the car will boost 25psi and make 450 horsepower. Perfect for hauling some ass through the twisties, cruising on the highway, or hauling some lumber this car is good looking and quick to boot…

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Editor’s note: Today I am introducing tehcarblogz’ first guest writer, the infamous Patrick Hodges. Patrick is a man of many talents and opinions, and a genuine Grade A USDA Certified hoon behind the wheel of… well, anything. He’ll be writing a regular column here. If you want to get in touch with him, fire an email off to hexadec0079@yahoo.com. Enjoy his writing and thanks for visiting!

-James

Words: Patrick Hodges

The 6 W’s

Who~ Let me introduce myself on these hallowed pages. I am a car nerd. I love anything peculiar with an engine and wheels. German, Japanese, or even (gasp) American. My love for the automobile goes to primal and almost spiritual level. You try driving a Ferrari without invoking some spiritual figure and then you can declare yourself as car crazy as me. I am twenty-something working in the car industry as a Service Advisor. I have a history as Salesman, have driven on the track, and wrenched my own cars. I have some perspective on the whole Automotive and try to be honest when I drive cars.

What~ Cars. Anything with a motor and wheels to be more accurate. Karts, lawnmowers, ATV, trucks, bikes, and boats if the mood strikes me.

When~ Sometime in the early 21st century.

Where~ Raleigh, North Carolina

Why~ There in lies the rub. Why is an eternal search, rather than mere question. The simplest answer I can provide is for escape. Some people scrapbook, I do donuts, powerslides, and e-brake turns.

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