Archive for the ‘Car Theory’ Category

Not Bad, For An Old Gal…

I’ll admit, the Saab 9-5 is simply not the freshest design on the block.  The 2008 9-5 may have a new face, but it’s still on the GM 2900 Chassis, shared with the Opel Vectra and the Saturn L-Series.  Not exactly the most modern of underpinnings, but the 9-5’s got a lot going for it.  It still has that ridiculous 2.3L 16v Turbo 4 which makes 260 horsepower and more torque than your front wheels really want to deal with.  It still gets great gas mileage, it’s still very safe, and it’s still extremely comfortable.  Plus, how fantastic does the 9-5 look on these wheels?

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Thought of the Day: Messing With Perfection

As a VW owner and enthusiast, I am familiar with the concept of improving a car through aftermarket modifications. There is quite a large percentage of Volkswagens on the road with at least something done to them. It’s because VW’s (and of course, Audis) respond particularly well to small modifications. I’m sure this is largely due to the ubiquitous 1.8L 20-valve Turbo engine (commonly known as the One-Eight Tee. Natch.)

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Where Does Your Money Go?

Even people who know nothing about cars, know that there are cheap cars and there are expensive cars, and there are cars in between. It’s a pretty simple concept.

People automatically assume that a more expensive car is, by definition, a better one. You pay more, you get more. There’s a reason that a $10,775 Hyundai Accent has a 1.6L 110bhp engine, and a $320,000 Mercedes SL65 AMG Black has… 670 horsepower.

Still, when you boil cars down to their most basic, they all do the same thing (if they’re working): you get in them, turn them on, operate the controls and they transport you from starting point A to destination B. A $10,775 Accent Coupe then is exactly the same as the $320,000(estimated) SL65 AMG Black. Obviously, this makes no sense! There must be something, some reason for Gallardo’s to exist!

Of course there is. Otherwise, it’d be a pretty bleak world for us car guys to exist in. Here are some of my findings I attained after exhaustive research.

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Import it/ Deport it

One of the most common themes of the American automotive marketplace is that, compared to most the rest of the world, we really get the shaft when it comes to automobile selection. This is because carmakers tend to make cars designed for the “stereotypical American mindset,” that is to say, cars for fat people who don’t like corners or clutches. It’s quite painful to see the rest of the world get sweet small cars, awesome rear-wheel-drive sedans, and many other things while we’re (for the most part) stuck with the stale leftovers. Here’s a few cars I think should be brought in - and a few cars that I think should just go ahead and pack their things.

Import it: Ford Mondeo/ Ford Falcon

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The Many Ways To Skin A Cat (where Cat = Road)

One of the most rewarding experiences you can have while driving a car is attacking a truly challenging piece of tarmac. At least, that’s my opinion. Some people get their jollies from heads-up drag races. That’s interesting once; then the result is the same every time if your technique is any good. Revs up, drop clutch, spin tires lightly, hold till redline, clutch and shift, rinse, repeat, snore. Great, your Mustang runs 13.1 seconds in the quarter mile.

But a good road is different every time you go down it. On a long curvy piece of tarmac, there is an infinite number of permutations as to how you can take it, what line to follow, how late to brake and which gears to use. On a truly good road, a better driver in a slower car will beat a mediocre driver in a more capable car every time. That’s why I love a good road. Plus, lateral g-forces are more fun that frontal.

The question then becomes: what exactly is the best conveyance to fling yourself down that favorite backroad like your hair’s on fire? The answer: there is no answer. Like the cat-skinning question (as an aside: who would want to skin a cat? That’s just mean. I love cats) there are many answers.


1) With A Scalpel

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TCB Presents: Top Ten Automotive Failures Of the 2000’s

When a manufacturer releases their latest and greatest innovation on society, they usually pump it up with great fanfare, a huge advertising budget, and all the hoopala they can possibly drum up. Sometimes it works, sometimes it’s completely unnecessary (VW sold out the entire US allotment of 5,000 first-generation R32’s without spending a dime on advertising), and sometimes it just doesn’t make a difference to the fact that the car they’re selling is complete, unmitigated crap. Hey, it happens. Just ask Ford:

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Oddball Motor Of The Week: Saab 2-stroke

These days, Saab is mainly known by the public for being… well, somewhat odd. Turbocharged engines, gauges that shut off, ignition switch near the handbrake and shifter, hatchbacks, etc are the norm for Saab. But today’s Saab is a far cry from the old days when SAAB (all caps) was it’s own brand, not a General Motors satellite. Back then, Saab was known for practical technological innovations. They were the first brand to introduce a turbocharged car for normal people and really bring it mainstream; the 99 Turbo back in 1978 really turned the world on it’s ear.

They lead the field in other innovations, of course. APC (Automatic Performance Control) in 1980 was the world’s first automatic knock sensor which allowed a turbocharged car to be run on whatever gas you so chose without engine damage. Trionic in 1991 used a 32-bit processor to run many parameters of engine management and adapt them real-time to world conditions. Their cars have always been on the leading edge of smart thinking - at least until GM bought them. But before all that, SAABS (Svenska Aeroplan AB) was basically a shed full of ex-airplane engineers who decided to make cars instead. So of course, they did things their own way. The resulting cars were like nothing else on the road. The first bodies were hand-formed over molds with hammers. But perhaps the most fascinating thing about those ancient SAABS were the motors.

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Thought Of The Day: How Have Gas Prices Affected You?

The automotive industry in the US is facing it’s toughest challenge yet. The price of gasoline in this country has been on an extremely rapid rise in the last three or four years, to the point where people are either tired of filling up their tanks, or unable to afford the luxury. Sales of America’s top automotive product, the pickup truck, have been in the tank for a good time now. Ford announced their new business plan this past week which includes a massive cutback on truck production and a big push on cars. Makes sense to me. When I started driving about 4 years ago, the price of regular unleaded gas was $1.77. Yesterday, it hit $4.00 per gallon. I for one have pretty much had enough. I don’t drive for the fun of it nearly as much as I used to - my car takes 93 octane gas at a rate of about 28mpg on the highway and 22 or 23mpg around town. While I don’t have it as bad as most people, I simply can’t afford to put 50-60 dollars of gas in my tank a few times a week. I just don’t have the money.

So I’ve decided what my next automotive purchase is going to be, when funds allow:

Honda Ruckus, Bitches!

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Bludgeoning Physics To Death With Science

Since I first understood a thing about cars, I’ve been a fan of the Colin Chapman school of automotive design. Chapman, for those not in the know, was the founder of a little sports car marque called Lotus. His basic design idea was “add lightness.” Extraneous components were not needed or welcome. It has been said that he would continue to remove material from a component until it failed, then add a little back in, and move onto the next one. This obsession with weight was obvious in the cars he made. Drive a Lotus Esprit and you can’t have a heavy right foot - the gas pedal hinge will bend under your foot. You want carpet in your Elise? The Porsche dealer is down the road, you wuss.

The reason for this isn’t hard to understand. Let’s break it down. What makes a car fast is, basically, it’s power-to-weight ratio: how many pounds is each horsepower burdened with? The less weight and the more power, the faster a car is going to accelerate (in a nutshell.) So there are two ways to make a car faster: add more power, or subtract more weight.

No Extras Needed.

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Thought Of The Day: A Fast Car Isn’t Always A Good One.

One thing I’ve noticed about car magazines in the US (besides the boring ones like Consumer Reports) is that above anything, they like to emphasize acceleration as a defining characteristic of a car’s worth. It’s not hard to notice. On the front cover of the latest Car and Driver, they have a few headlines. The big one proclaims “The Fast Lane!: BMW 135i, 0-60 4.7s.” Further down there’s “Nissan GT-R 0-60 3.3.” At the bottom, in small font is “The Slow Lane: Smart ForTwo, 0-60 14.4s.”

And the Pope is apparently Catholic.

Let me be the first one to say: Who gives a shit how fast a Smart Car gets to sixty miles an hour? No one’s going to be drag-racing from light to light in their Smart. A Smart is an economical fashion accessory, like a Swatch (imagine that!) It’s a conversation piece. It’s the new Prius. The only people racing smarts are the ones with Smartuki conversions, so all three of them. The 0-60 time on a Smart is about as relevant as the fuel efficiency of a dump truck.
But this is America, where we have (comparatively) cheap gas, the roads are wide and straight, and if you’re not going 80 on the highway, you’re getting run over. So magazines shout about how fast a car can reach 60 - which is a pretty arbitrary number.

There are a lot of fast cars out there. But let me let you in on a secret: some of them really, truly suck.

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