Driver Aids Do Not A Better Driver Make
I was recently on my way from my house in Raleigh to visit some friends in nearby Chapel Hill. It was about 9:00 at night or so, and it was raining lightly. The weather struck me as being vaguely British in it’s awfulness. It was cold, rainy, and windy. I had the new album by Against Me cranked on the stereo in my Jetta and was slightly zoned out. I decided to make a pit-stop at a gas station just off I-40 to pick up a soda and a pack of cigarettes.
I saw a sign for an exit that had a Citgo, so I swapped a few lanes and got in the exit lane. The “speed advisory” sign on the exit said 30mph. Normally I ignore these; the speeds usually only seem relevant if you’re driving a semi-truck and are scared to death of inertia. But they weren’t kidding this time. They probably should have put an exclamation mark next to thirty; thirty might actually be too fast for this exit. Unfortunately it was the first time I’d taken it and I was no the wiser.
I will say, in most circumstances my car handles exceedingly well. It’s lowered an inch and a half, has a fat rear sway bar from a GTI, and is sitting on rubber that’s 30mm wider and 20% lower in aspect ratio than stock. For my power output, it’s slightly excessive but I love it. I’ve got Z-rated summer ultra performance tires that stick like glue. But this exit was too much. Downhill, sharp right hand turn, opposite camber, bumpy. Everything you could describe a bad turn with. Just ugly.
But I was zoned out and probably went down it at 55mph. It was way too much. I felt the front end start to slide wide, so I tapped the brakes to check my speed down. The wet weather and shitty road just made the tail end twitch and the front slide wider. I saw death approaching as I slid towards the guardrail, my life flashing before my eyes and I thought back to all the girls I wish I had told that I cared for, all the car meets I’d missed out on, and crossed my fingers.
Then the hand of god intervened. The brakes modulated themselves, power cut out, and the car magically pulled itself back on it’s desired path. While my heartrate accelerated, I (and my car) were no worse for the wear. A near-death experience became nothing more than a slight scare.
Actually, I lied. It wasn’t the hand of god. It was ESP, Volkswagen’s cutesie name for Stability Control, and it saved my ass. It’s not the first time, either. This set of electronic gizmos is basically magic; it has pitch and yaw and wheel speed sensors that detect if you’re not going in your intended path, then modulates the brakes and the engine in a matter which brings proceedings back under control.
This got me thinking: without ESP, I probably would have had a nasty wreck. My car would probably severely damaged, I would probably be injured, and life would suck. But it isn’t, and I’m not, and it doesn’t. So thanks VW.
But, this got me thinking. My car, which is a base model Jetta, has more safety-related electronic acronyms than I can shake a stick at. ASR (Traction Control), ESP (Electronic Stability Program), EBD (Electronic Brakeforce Distribution), ABS (Antilock Brake System), and some feature I can’t even remember the acronym for that detects if you’re conducting a panic stop and goes ahead and applies the brakes for you at maximum pressure. I call it the “Oh, Shit!” brake aid.
These are all great things. Along with all 6(!) airbags and strong passenger cell, crumple zones and other crash-related safety items, this makes a new Jetta quite cheap to insure and comforting to drive. But I don’t think it makes me a better driver. If I knew my car didn’t have all these electrons shooting thither and yon, I doubt I’d be so inattentive to things like that - knowing that controlling the car is entirely up to me. ABS these days is taken for granted - you stomp your brake pedal, magic happens, you come to a complete stop very quickly. In the old days, stomping the brakes for a panic stop basically meant you were just going to slide into whatever was in front of you at a slightly decreased rate of speed as all four tires locked up. You might even spin around if conditions were bad enough.
And there’s more - my car isn’t even that feature-laden by modern standards. Electronic All-Wheel-Drive systems make average Joe Jalopnik into a superb driver on any road. Newer Haldex AWD systems have a torque-vectoring rear differential that actively sends power to the wheel that needs it, equalizing handling to an alarming degree of perfection and accuracy. Many cars (Saab 9-3, Mazda RX-8, Infiniti G35) have active or passive rear-steering systems that turn the rear wheels slightly to increase stability even more. Some Mercedes cars have a system call that can sense a stopped car ahead of you and tighten your seatbelt, close the sunroof and preload and slam on the brakes to avoid a collision. Laser-guided cruise control takes all the thought out of highway driving- it’ll slow the car down and speed it up according to traffic presence.
Cars these days require so much less input and thought from the driver, they practically drive themselves. I’m old fashioned because, by golly, I change my own gears! And I only have one clutch! (Whoa, DSG.) I don’t think this is making drivers safer, though. It’s making cars safer and drivers dumber. The rate of traffic accidents per number of automobiles has been on a steady rise since the mainstream introduction of ABS, airbags, CHMSL’s, and other things. I mean, if there’s a computer taking all the guess-work and skill out of driving, why would you even care if you’re a good driver?
So, lady on your cellphone in your Durango, I’m glad your car has Stability Control and tire-pressure monitors so your lazy ass doesn’t have to do anything. But please be careful - all the computers in the world can’t save you from your own stupidity when something goes really wrong.
That’s just me reminding you all to be careful out there. Your car is safer than ever, but it still has to abide by the rules of physics. Please don’t forget it.
This post is dedicated to the memory of all the cars Eric Helke has wrecked. Eric, this is for you.